On this Father’s Day weekend, I remember our loss six years ago when our daddy said goodbye…
With a smile and teary eyes, I recall some things my daddy taught me:
Listen Intently.
My brother Nino and I lived with our mommy almost all our growing up years. Our mom was our parent and sole provider all throughout (I still wonder how she did it). And so I have little memory of living with my dad. But he made sure that his presence was always felt. He would call almost every night just to ask what we were eating for dinner. He would sometimes ramble and I often wanted to say ‘bye’ and get on with my “more important” teenage life. But I had to stay put and listen.
With those years of talking with my dad – I learnt the importance of conversing and even more the importance of listening. He wanted me to know that he cared and loved me despite his absence and so I listened.
I now try my best to listen. Really listen.
Natural is Best.
I was too preoccupied with the way I looked when I was in my teens that made me want to do all the “beauty” stuff. I dyed my hair red violet because it seemed cool. But he kept on telling me that natural is best.
I now always try to choose what’s more natural and it had made my life as a woman simpler.
Always be on time.
My dad was rarely late. When the bell rings, his car was always one of the first to arrive in our school’s driveway. He was always 5 minutes early whenever he would pick me up. We were never late for church. So on that day when his then girlfriend stood waiting for him to pick her up after work… she knew something had happened.
I should learn to be on time.
Cook good food for your husband.
The one thing he insisted that I learn was to cook good food. He said that my future husband will appreciate it. I never tried to cook before I got married but I did my best to learn once I made my vows. I regret not being able to cook for him.
I’m sure he’d be happy that I am now actually cooking.
Family matters.
Family was definitely important to Daddy. During reunions, he would always remind us to introduce ourselves and that we should mention our lineage to the elderly. He took pride in recognizing his roots.
Despite being far apart, my father made it a point to remember loved ones and celebrate their special day. He would buy pancit to celebrate each of our birthdays even if he was off in another country. He would call us and remind us that it is our late grandfathers birthday or death anniversary and we should also buy pancit (not sure why it had to be pancit).
I’m not a thoughtful person. In fact I often forget all the special dates but I have to start trying.
Go to church.
He insisted that I should go to church every Sunday. I never really had the chance to talk to him about his faith but I knew he was a prayerful man. He acknowledged his need of a Saviour in Christ – that in itself says a lot. I think he had the gift of faith.
Appreciate the little things.
He modeled the joy of living simply. Good food. Good company. Good conversation.
He reminded me that money, fame and extravagance won’t really matter in the end. I guess he knew what he was talking about since he did have IT ALL but lost everything in the end.
***
My dad is more a mystery to me now that I am an adult. I have begun to realize that I didn’t really know my dad that much. He was always the life of the party. He was a very charming man and often got away with his mistakes. I wish there were more words to write about but my time with him was too short since I didn’t live with him when I was growing up. However, the little time I had with him was more than enough for me to cherish him.
The snippets of conversations we had stays in my heart and I hold on to these to keep his memory alive in me.
We miss you and love you daddy. Happy Fathers Day!
