Her Words, My Rambled Thoughts: The Sacredness of Personality
(and an interesting looking plant.)
“These principles are limited by the respect due to the personality of children, which must not be encroached upon whether by the direct use of fear or love, suggestion or influence, or by undue play upon any one natural desire.” Vol. 6, p.80
FEAR. LOVE. SUGGESTION. INFLUENCE. PLAY upon natural desire. — All these can be used to encroach any person. What more a child? I had to think for a moment and check if I do use these to make my children do things and steer them to be someone. And I am very guilty.
According to a quick google search, ENCROACH means to “intrude on a person’s territory or a thing considered to be a right.” It also means, “advance gradually beyond usual or acceptable limits.” The synonyms give a better picture: intrude on, trespass on, impinge on, obtrude on, impose oneself on, invade, infiltrate, interrupt, infringe on, violate, interfere with, disturb.
And according to my 6 year old Leon, encroaching means conquering something that is not yours.
Time and again, Charlotte Mason demonstrates and emphasizes how essential it is to see children as persons. Her fourth principle states how fear, love, influence, and suggestion play a part in encroaching. Who would have thought that ‘Love’ can actually be used to encroach? If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we often do. She warns us of our instinct to influence to the point of manipulation. We often are not aware of the effect of what seems harmless, and even natural.
I started and ended our first week of school year 2018-2019 with these thoughts. And I am still trying to process it. I can’t seem to pin point how things should be done, and what is left to “use” besides fear, love, suggestion, influence. I’ll be pondering on this, and hopefully read and discuss more with my husband. Feel free to grapple with me on this. Help me understand what it means. Take a look at Volume 6 of the CM Volumes, A Philosophy of Education. Flip to pages 80-93. Let me know what you think.
Meanwhile, look at this interesting looking plant we saw during our nature walk. Do you know what it is?
Your post is so timely… huhu… I’ve been struggling with these same words from CM. I got to watch a video from CM Poetry discussing the 20 Principles and this was where I knew about it first. It (encroaching) was something I unconsciously did, and it is now something I am consciously doing for 2 weeks since I first knew about it! (I snappily snap snap and, sigh, though only with my kids, it’s more grievous! Plus I have put value and incentives on things beyond what it should naturally give for “motivation”.) Honestly, I’m afraid I may never learn it (to not encroach) and do it absolutely. I will really need God’s mercy and grace and the Holy Spirit’s help for every MOMENT.
I read how a blogger sees the Holy Spirit as a respecter of persons when He left her to go on as she wanted (to not sing – so much so to not even sing in church) until she was shied out of her shell because she needed to teach her kids and she began to enjoy it. If I look back upon my own life, I can see how the Lord has left me “on my own”. But I cannot deny His guidance and instruction in my spirit and conscience, in the circumstances and people He orchestrates to come my way, to the places He brings me, and to the many things I “chance” upon… Do you get my gist? When I understood God’s salvation more (how He meant it to happen), the more I understood how He “commands” our persons – all in love… the kind that 1 Corinthians 13 describes. Maybe this is where CM’s “thinking love” comes in?
As I write this, the more it becomes clear to me. I’m still overwhelmed with the urging to love my kids the way God loves me. But yes, not by might nor by power, but by the Spirit of God I can. Thank God His mercies are new every morning. Thank God that His grace is always enough.
I will forever be amazed at how deep CM’s philosophies are about children – and persons in general. It all points back to God’s “pure and simple” Words. Hay ang dami dami pang realizations and this is just one of them! ❤
Oh those plants, they are ground cherries. Looks like same with caped gooseberries but the leaves are different. 😉